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What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Last Updated: 16.06.2025 09:36

What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Why do I sweat so much? I’m 17 but I feel like I always need to re-apply deodorant and I am always self-conscious that I smell because I feel sweat under my arms.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What do you mean son?

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“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

If you were president, how would you make America "great again?"

Do you know what she said mum?

What! how could you do that?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Have husbands and wives ever had a threesome with someone in real life? How did it happen?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.